Tales From the Toddler

Irma and the Diaper

There we sit on the house on the hill as this hurricane brushes past our state. Even though she has turned west, we still sit here with the tornado force winds. We prepared as best we could. Three days of food, four days of water, back up power, bug out bag in case we have to leave, a months supply of diapers and ready made food for baby.

You know what we never thought to get. Diaper pail bags. Something so simple and yet, so completely forgotten. On any given day, a simple grocery bag would perform the task of harboring the stench of 1000 deaths. However, on this day, it would not. The aroma of digestion would leak through that bag and seep into the nostrils of all that were nearby.

Why, oh, why darling child, did you not say potty. This must go before it permanently permeates into our very souls.

With the knot in the bag secure, and determination in the heard, I looked out the window to determine the directions of the winds and the best possible form of attack. Five feet. That is the distance to the bin. Five feet.

Boots, laced, raincoat tight, rope secure, I opened the door. It closed right back in my face. I opened again. It closed right back. New plan of attack. The back door. Eight feet. This distance is now eight feet.

I open the door. It shows little resistance. Deep breath, I step out and am faced with reality of how out of shape I really am. Tossed against the side of the house the air leaves my chest. Deep breath. Hunker down and move. One foot at a time. No slack on the line. Almost there. One more step.

Triumph. I have bested the wind and made it to the bin. This victory, however, is short lived as it is a man that has foiled this mission. For it was man who secured the bin. In that moment, it was man who took my breath away.

Needless to say, here we sit, suffering as that foul odor oozes from the garbage bin.

Not to make light of any situation, but laughter is how this family copes. We try to always find something, anything to smile about. This storm is currently passing over our loved ones and we have not had any contact with them since last night. If you can please help those in the wake for this storm, American Red Cross.

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