Life As It Is

Don’t Believe the Hype

As busy as life can be, there are a few moments when you can be an adult and remember the joys that came with adult activities. For one reason or another, my son was very tired when I brought him home from school today. I’m fairly certain that it was because he started his gymnastics class or because he now thinks nap is the enemy.

Either way, his father was off and already home. He had dinner ready and was sitting on the couch watching television. As I walked by he gave me a gentle pat on the butt and that smirk that I love oh so much. I put our son in his bed and met my love in the bedroom.

Now, it’s been a while since I’ve done something overly sexy for this man. Before we became parents, I used to dress up in different outfits. I had whole dance routines planned, role play, you name it. For some reason, I was in this kind of mood and had just watched a booty popping YouTube video. Mind you, I have not tried to touch my toes for almost a year.

I turn on a some music low enough to not wake the baby and I start dancing and he starts smiling. Now I’m really feeling it. I am not a video vixen, I do not know why in this moment in time I decided to dance like a video vixen. Well 45 seconds into this song and I’m on the floor stuck in a leap frog stance because I don’t have the calf muscles to bounce back up in stiletto heels. I look up at him with pleading eyes and I am met with a chuckle.

“Bounce up,” he says.

“Can you help me?”

“You got it. Just bounce up.”

So I bounce and bounce and bounce until I’m standing. Winded and a little embarrassed, I refuse to let this be the finishing move to this dance. Then the thought crosses my mind. Maybe I need something a little more fast paced. A fast paced song would not keep me in some strenuous position for a long period of time. This makes sense, right? I change the song. Now I’m twerking, flipping my hair, just gyrating to the music. I climb on the bed, swinging my hips then all of a sudden…SLIP.

I land with my back on the floor. My right foot caught on the comforter, my left foot somehow caught under the bed. Winded and confused I look at him. My love has jumped up off of the bed to make sure that I’m okay. Once he sees that for the most part I’m okay, again, I am met with laughter. Boisterous laughter that comes from the soul. He’s laughing so hard that he can’t untangle my foot from the comforter. I’m not sure if the laughter or the sound of me falling woke the child, but you could here him crying down the hall.

Well needless to say, there were no adult activities to be had the entire lower half of my body hurts. So, take it from me. If you have not been doing this regularly, don’t believe the hype. The internet will lead you astray. You probably do not dance like the woman in the booty popping video.

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